Olympics

Attractive Olympian Bracketology: Inside the Women's Sexy Sixteen

Posted Jul 10, 2008 6:00AM By Matt Ufford (RSS feed)

Filed Under: Attractive Olympians

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Olympic athletes often don't get paid to do anything other than look good. In that vein, Attractive Olympians handicaps which athletes may rake in endorsement deals after the Olympics.

Last week's first-round matchups in the Attractive Olympians' women's bracket produced few surprises: just two upsets, and very few close contests.

This week's installment of A.O. Bracketology will review the narrowest victories and preview this week's battles. Can Laure Manaudou's lascivious bedroom behavior push her past popular Maria Sharapova? Can Ana Ivanovic's FHM spread help her topple superhot juggernaut Jennie Finch? Is judging the looks of athletic women while I type in my underwear affecting my ability to have a normal relationship? Your votes solve the mysteries!

LAST WEEK

#2 Stephanie Rice 54%, #15 Natasha Kai 46% -- The sexy momentum of the cop-uniform Facebook photos that launched Rice to a #2 seed clearly faded over time, as the American soccer player from Hawaii nearly notched an upset on the strength of uninhibited dance moves and a proclivity for tattoos. Most women like that end up in other professions, so more power to Kai.

#12 Anna Bessonova 52%, #5 Misty May-Treanor 48% -- Miraculously, I correctly prognosticated this as a "potential upset." It's the first time I've been right about something since Crystal Pepsi. As a nation, we're just not ready to embrace clear cola. Fortunately, we're getting closer to accepting hot tattooed women.

THIS WEEK'S SEXY 16 (vote here):

Bombshell Regional
#1 Amy Acuff vs. #9 Nastasia Liukin -- Leggy blonde American versus ultra-flexible Russian-American.
#4 Christina Jones vs. #12 Anna Bessonova -- Leggy blonde American versus ultra-flexible Ukrainian. Is there a theme here?
#3 Maria Sharapova vs. #6 Laure Manaudou -- Leggy blonde Russian (mixing it up!) looks to cruise past controversial and sex scandal-plagued French swimmer.
#2 Jennie Finch vs. #7 Ana Ivanovic -- Ivanovic breezed through her first-round match (84% to 16%), but this is a brutal, brutal matchup for the official New Hotness in women's tennis.

Girl Next Door Regional
#1 Logan Tom vs. #8 Kelly Sotherton -- With 0% of the precincts reporting, we can go ahead and call this one for Tom.
#4 Katie Mocco vs. #5 Hope Solo -- Best matchup of the week. Mocco might have a slight edge on the strength of her head shot, but Solo's higher profile and lower body density promise a close battle.
#3 Natalie Coughlin vs. #6 Alicia Sacramone -- I like Alicia Sacramone. She throws a nice punch. But Natalie Couglin is cuter than a sack of kittens.
#2 Stephanie Rice vs. #7 Becky Hammon -- Rice may have barely survived the first round, but I don't think Hammon has the chops to knock off Australia's top swimmer.

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